My first book is about to be released in print. It's exciting, but at the same time it is frightening. I'm still not positive that I said what I wanted to say exactly the way I wanted to say it, but I think I came pretty close.

Most of the books I have read regarding abuse survivors have been overwhelmingly negative, they talk about the after effects, the nightmares, the flashbacks, the fear of intimacy, the inability to trust.

Those things certainly are byproducts of abuse, but along with the negative consequences come a great many skills that can actually help us when we see them for what they are.

Yes, survivors often have every reason to view the world as a negative place, but in the end that negativity only hurts us. The world is also a positive place, full of life affirming experiences. Life is beautiful but first we have to choose that beauty.

I can't tell you how often I have heard survivors describe themselves as broken, I have done so myself many times, but most of us really are far less broken than we imagine ourselves to be. What has been broken can be fixed, but far too many give up the hope of healing before they even start.

Life itself is a path that each of us must travel, and healing is only a part of that path if you choose to follow it.

Sometimes we tend to think of healing as a destination, thinking that some day we will finally be able to say, "that's it, I am healed." When we focus only on the destination we are missing the greatest things that life has to offer, it is the journey that is important, and as long as we keep ourselves moving towards healing, we can and will heal.

If we keep putting one foot in front of the other, if we just keep going no matter what gets in the way we will heal, but healing is a process, and that process continues throughout our lifetime.

In the end, where we have been isn't near as important as how far we have come.

"We are men, we are women, we are young and we are old. We all have our own unique stories, it hardly seems we have anything in common at all, but we are a family. We are a family because of what we do have in common. We are a family joined not by blood, but by spirit.

We are survivors, and we are stronger than any of us truly know or understand."

Excerpt from the upcoming book
'Sister, Survivor'
by Ayngel "Boshemia" Overson

Not too long ago I talked about the labels we wear, many of them given to us by someone else. When we change our labels, we change the way we view ourselves, and the way others view us. There is a reason this thought has been stuck in my head.

Though I have been writing all of my life, I never really saw myself as a real writer. Some of my horrible teen angst poetry was even published in the school paper, but I still didn’t see myself as having anything worth saying that anyone else would want to hear. The only person holding me back was me.

A lot of us are like that, there are things that we enjoy doing, but when it comes to labeling ourselves positively we hesitate. We have no problem labeling ourselves negatively, seeing what we are bad at, seeing where we need to improve, but seeing what we do right is so much harder.

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“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

The first amendment is a writers friend.

“Congress shall make no law… abridging the freedom of speech…”

Notice there are no qualifications in there. It does not say as long as you only speak accepted facts, that would be just plain silly. Where would fiction writers be? Politicians would never be allowed to open their mouths again! It would also be silly if we had to document every statement we ever made anywhere.

It doesn’t say as long as we all agree, or that everyone else approves. It says freedom of speech. Period.

We are still responsible for what we say, and always will be, but those are different laws entirely.

Every writer should know the libel (written) and slander (spoken) laws by heart, as well as invasion of privacy. You can’t defame a person alive or dead, if it is possibly defamatory you must have solid proof to back it up. Remember when in doubt truth is an absolute defense.

If you confirm that it is true to the best of your ability, and have proof to back it up, then your defense is absolute. In other words research everything and back it up! Make sure opinions stay opinions and facts stay facts, don't mix the two up.

There is an excellent article at Freelancing & Fiction on this subject. Know your laws, and don't break them.

That doesn’t mean that everyone is going to agree with, or approve of what we write. That is what I really wanted to talk about today.

Some of the best novels of all time were controversial. I grew up reading Judy Blume, correction, Judy Blume helped many of us grow up. Yes many of her books were banned. The Harry Potter series opened books up for a whole new generation of children, yet many Christians wanted to see those books pulled from the shelves.

Maya Angelou, Judy Blume, Ray Bradbury, Lewis Carrol, William Faulkner, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Anne Frank, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Ernest Hemingway, Stephen King, Madaleine L’Engle, George Orwell, Sylvia Plath, Anne Rice, J.R.R. Tolkien, Kurt Vonnegut… the list goes on.

All banned because somebody didn’t like what they had to say, but they didn’t stop saying it. They gave us some of the greatest writing of all time because they weren’t afraid of what people would think. They had something to say, and they said it.

The worst censor most of us have to face is ourselves. We edit parts out because we are afraid of what our mother will think, we are afraid that other people might not agree, we don’t want to paint ourselves in an unflattering light. We might think certain thoughts, but we stop ourselves from putting those thoughts on paper.

Go back to the first amendment, the fathers of our country thought it was important enough to include along with freedom of religion, the right to assemble, and the right to petition the government. They felt it was a basic human right, and so do I.

I might not agree with what another person says, but I would die to defend that freedom. Yet at the same time I did not exercise that freedom for a long time. I hid behind pseudonyms, afraid of what people would think if they read some of the darker or more bizarre things I have written.

What would my nemesis think? What would my friends think? What would my FAMILY think?

What good is a freedom if it is not exercised? Some people might not agree with you, some might even outright attack you, someday you could even end up on the banned book list, but at least you would be in good company.

Whatever is in your head, write it. If you print it make sure you have observed existing laws, but otherwise just write and see what comes out without worrying about what other people might think.

The real question you should ask yourself as a writer is what do you think?

Print out a copy of the first amendment and tape it over your writing desk, and anytime you find yourself beginning to censor your writing, go back and read it. Some of the best writers out there exercised their freedom of speech, so what is stopping you?