I’m not a student of “The Secret,” per say, I own the movie, and have studied it a little bit, so I understand the concept. I agree with the law of attraction in many ways, but where the whole idea lost me was the part about manifesting...

It was actually a visit to some of the forums, and seeing some of the people that were trying to “manifest” things in their life. While there were some truly wonderful people, there were a few who seemed to think that manifesting meant that the universe owed them something.

They demanded that their desires be met, but offered the world nothing in return. I’ve talked about the laws of sowing and reaping many times, that logic dictates when we plant apple seeds we can reasonably expect to receive apples at some later date.

We don't however sit around expecting pears. Like breeds like, it always has and it always will. It is not magic, it is just the way our world works. The fastest way to get a smile out of someone is to first offer one of your own.

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Our children are our gift to the world. The first step in making the world a better place. Parenting is the most important job most of us will ever have, yet we often place them lower on our list of priorities than jobs, money, friends, fun.

Most people who have met my kids notice fairly quickly that they aren’t like other kids. It isn’t hard to notice. They talk and act very much like adults, they care about the world around them. About how other people feel.

My youngest finds her greatest joy in donating money to the various local funds. My son has never been in a fist fight, but he stands up for the smaller and weaker kids. My oldest has been described as a "quiet leader" by more than one person.

I made the decision years ago to raise peace centered kids, and for the most part it has worked. Yet, there are always challenges, and I suspect there always are with any decision towards peace. First of all I didn’t start out that way, I started out like any other parent, not having a clue what I was doing, or how I was going to do it.

When my son was five he was sitting at the coffee table coloring a picture. I asked him what he was drawing and he held it up for me. “This is daddy yelling, and this in mommy crying...” My heart broke for him, and for the girls then ages 8, and 2 1/2.

This wasn’t the life I had planned for them, this wasn’t the way I wanted them to view their family. This was supposed to be a safe place for them, and I was failing miserably at my most important job.

What our marriage was doing to the kids wasn’t fair to them, and what we were doing to each other wasn’t fair to us. We arranged for a very respectful divorce, where one rule applied. We would always love the children more than we hated each other.

After that I had to reconsider my views on everything. Why was I telling my children not to hit, yet spanking them? Why was I mad at them for always fighting, when they were witnessing it between their father and I almost daily?

I realized first and foremost that I had to be an example to them, to show them better ways of dealing with conflict, which meant I had to not only learn them but to model them effectively. I finally had a plan!

One of the first things I taught them is that they were given a brain for a reason, and I expected them to use it. Most kids are smarter than we think they are, they can comprehend a lot more than we give them credit for.

When I found them in the middle of an argument I simply began asking them if they could think of a better way to solve their problem. Most of the time they were able to come up with something mutually beneficial, and work it out themselves without all of the yelling and screaming.

The second thing we began working on was respect for themselves, and respect for others. Respect for myself was something I had never been very good at, and it was important for me to help them avoid much of the pain this had caused me.

How do you teach respect? Once again the answer came from me. I had to model it, I had to live it, and I had to encourage them to follow. I had to stop and actually listen to my children, and I found out they had a lot to say.

When you teach your children to use their words instead of their fists, they develop a tremendous capacity to not just observe their own feelings but the feelings of others. When a child is safe enough to say to their parent, “that really hurt my feelings,” they grow in ways you can’t imagine.

You end up with kids who help another child to the nurses office, who stand up for a child when the other kids are picking on them, a teenage daughter who bring friends with troubles to the house and say “Here, talk to my Mom, she’s really cool.”

I see them now, stepping ever closer to their real lives. I was never raising children in the first place, I was raising adults and I had so few years to do it in. I don’t know that they will be doctors, or lawyers, or anything the world defines as success.

I know I am proud of them, and I am glad that I made the decision to place my kids first in my life. My kids did not ask to be brought into this world, that was my decision, and the least I can do for them is fulfill my part of the parent - child obligation.

To be there when they need me, to listen to them, to make time for them. To do my best to give them a safe world to grow up in. To allow them to tell me anything without overreacting, or putting my feelings about something before theirs.

No, I have not raised perfect kids, nobody does. No, I have not been a perfect parent, nobody is. We all make mistakes, but mistakes can be corrected. I just made the decision to parent with love instead of anger.

Our kids really are worth it...

Our children are our greatest gift to the world, help them shine and they really can make a difference.