We hear people say “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” all the time. But there are times in life when it is broken, what then?

If your child gets in serious trouble every time you leave them alone, are you still leaving them alone?

If your lover keeps cheating on you, do you keep forgiving them?

If someone always borrows money and never pays it back, are you still giving them money?

If there is someone that gets on your nerves every time you are around them, are you still hanging out with them?

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Intense people scare me.

It’s just this strange thing I’ve had ever since I was a child. Extreme views in either direction, arguing, insisting on being right, anything that devalues another person. The strange thing is that person doesn’t even have to be attacking me to make me uncomfortable.

When I was fresh out of my four year tour of High School, I worked at a popular fast food restaurant famous for their golden arches. The girl working next to me that day was a round faced blond girl with big blue eyes.

She had always been pleasant to work with, and had never had a problem with a customer before. This customer obviously had a problem with her. Right in them middle of taking an order, I heard her say something we all said dozens of times a day. “Would you like cheese with that?”

This great huge red faced man came almost nose to nose with the girl. “Did I say I wanted cheese with that?” He didn’t even stop to take a breath. “If I would have wanted cheese, I would have asked for cheese!” He yelled at her for some time, something about her being what was wrong with the world today. Kids don’t listen...

I will never forget the look on her face. Her wide blue eyes got even wider, and she leaned back away from him, but did nothing else. Not a single thing. She just let him yell at her. When he was done, she blinked a few times, smiled and said. “Okay, without cheese then, will that be all?”

If it had been me I would have melted into a gelatinous puddle of goo on the floor, a lot of people would have yelled right back. He deserved it, he was rude for no reason but she didn’t. She was a true professional, golden arches logo or not. She just went right back to doing her job.

I have gotten better about handling crisis situations in the seventeen years since that day, I don’t melt into puddles anymore. I’ve been confronted by some real jerks in my lifetime, and I have yet to manage to handle it anywhere near what you would call gracefully, unless you consider bursting into tears graceful.

What really amazed me was how the man handled it. He didn’t apologize, he didn’t even pull back. He was obviously being a jerk, but as he grabbed his tray I saw the superior look on his face, he had obviously won this round, he was proud of making some fast food girl cringe even a little.

I also saw the look of mortified horror on his wife's face. She looked like she wanted to melt into a puddle of goo with me. I still wonder if he was just having a bad day, or if he really was like that all the time. From the look on his wife's face I’d say it wasn’t the first time he had done it, and it probably wont be the last.

I’d still like to come to a point where I can handle it as smoothly as the girl next to me handled it that day. It didn’t ruin her day, it didn’t even ruin her minute. She just faced it and moved on. She took the next order like nothing had happened.

The old man probably spent the rest of his life pissed off at the world for daring to ask if he wanted cheese with that. What a terrific waste of time and energy. I don’t know where that girl is today, I don’t even remember her name now, but wherever she is, I have a feeling she has excelled in whatever career she chose.

Life is too short to spend it pissed off at the world, if I know nothing else I know this.

Intense people still scare me though.

We all have those moments in our life. Those moments where our perception shifts, and we finally get the motivation to do something we have wanted to do for a long time. One of mine was seeing a beer sitting in front of an empty bar stool, another was realizing my super hero aunt was a mere mortal, but still super in her own way.

My grandfather left our small town just out of High School, he joined the Navy and performed as a medic through the Korean war. After he got out of the military, he attended med school. He never finished med school, too many children came too close together so he put college off planning to re-enroll someday when his situation improved. It never did.

As hard as I tried I was never able to see that would be doctor in my grandfather. Instead of giving his life to helping others, it was taken over by alcohol. If I wanted to see my grandfather I had to go to the bar, always the same bar, always the same bar stool.

On the day of my grandfathers funeral, his bar stool stood empty. In front of his stool sat a lone beer left as a last tribute. I kept looking at that beer and thinking about all of the things my Grandfather could have been.

I knew in that moment, if nothing else, I want to leave behind something more than an empty bar stool and a lonely beer.

My family has inspired me in so many ways, my grandfather and his lost dreams my aunt Tammy and her found ones.

My aunt Tammy was my hero as a child, she still is in many ways. Not only did she give me a life long love of learning, all she has to do to accomplish something is make up her mind to do it most of the time.

When I was a kid I thought she was magic. Things just happened for her. As an adult I finally realized that just like me she is human. The only thing she had that I didn’t was the determination to do it.

My grandfather adored her, and I think I understand why now. He let hardship and circumstances rob him of his dreams and she followed them. In her own way, she redeemed him. They were cut from the same cloth, they just made different choices and that was all.

It was just one of those moments in life that inspires you towards change. It inspired me to continue educating myself even if I could not afford college. It inspired me to follow my dreams. It inspired me to try to leave something behind for my children that counted for something.

It inspired me to stop dreaming and start doing.

You can find your inspirations in everyday life if you just keep your eyes and your mind open, paradigm shifts are everywhere.

I love you grandpa, and I love you Tammy.

Thank you.