I want a better world for our children, I suppose we all do, the problem is we all see a different way of doing that. For some people that means pushing their kids to work hard so that they will be successful in life, to others it means giving them a planet that hasn’t been destroyed.

We all have our own dreams of the future we want to give our child. I hear many parents voice their dreams for their children and often I realize how much we differ in our beliefs. Some people tell me that their children will go to church as long as they live under their roof. They insist that their child will share their values.

While I’m fine with that in general, what I really want for my kids is to have both spirituality and discernment. For me convincing them to follow this leader or that is far less important that teaching them to think for themselves. I don’t want them to believe anything that anyone tells them without questioning it, not even if it is me who is telling them.

Some people talk about wanting success for their children, for them to become doctors and lawyers and again that is great. When I think of success I don’t think of money or things, I think of successful relationships and a lot of love in their life. If they find that love in a two room shack or find it in a mansion on the hill its all the same to me. What I want for them is much more than silver or gold, a big house or fancy car. Infinitely more.

I want them to grow up to find happy marriages, a partner and a friend. I want them to raise emotionally healthy children. To live lives surrounded by love and positive emotions. If they have money that’s great, being broke isn’t a hardship I wish on them by any means but I don’t want them to buy their way through life, I want them to live it.

My kids are growing up. I really can’t stop that. It seems like such a far away event just a few years ago but now it is right here in my face. I hear parents say they can’t wait for their kids to leave home, and my heart stops each time they say it. I’m not ready for my kids to leave home even though one already has for the most part.

I feel like I have so much more to teach them, so many lessons they still need to learn. I want to protect them, to warn them about every bad thing that might come their way. I want to teach them how to handle situations on their own for the day that I am not there to help them. I want to protect them, I want to nurture them, I want to give them enough love to last for the rest of their lives just in case they ever need it.

I hear people fussing about their child's grades and I have to admit that grades aren’t very important to me. When my children could do better I tell them, but grades are no proper indication of who a child really is or what they are capable of. They don’t tell me how respectful my child is being of others and they don’t tell me if my child is respecting themselves. They might tell me if my child is learning, but they don’t tell me if they are growing.

When my son holds a door open for an elderly woman at the grocery store or my daughter offers to help out a neighbor that’s where the real grades in life come in. That is where I get my report card. Did my child push another child off of a swing, or did they give their swing to another child because the others were full? Have they stopped the cycle of bullying?

I watch my kids almost constantly, looking for those signs. When my youngest cops a diva attitude, or my middle falls into the doldrums, when my oldest is angry with a friend. I watch them and their reactions, and I ask myself if they are really learning the lessons I am teaching.

I think about parenting a lot. I think about what I am doing and why. I ask myself if I am teaching them healthy patterns or unhealthy. Being a perfect parent has never been my goal, but raising happy well-adjusted kids has.

Trying to undo the events of my own childhood proved to be impossible. What is, will always be. I’ve seen a lot of pain in my life, and I want better for my children. Most of us do...

Sometimes we get wrapped up in the day to day events. The siblings constant fighting, the battle over homework. We stress over chores and curfews. We are raised up with pride, and sometimes embarrassed to no end, sometimes in the very same day. We get lost in the moment raising our children and we forget that the big picture is out there.

We are worrying about what kind of child we have and forget to worry about what kind of adult they will ultimately become. We forget that we are the source of their self-esteem and sometimes say things we shouldn’t, things they will carry around with them later in life.

We forget that they are little vessels of clay and that nobody will have the same effect on shaping them that we will have.

We get tired sometimes and we forget a lot of things...

I want my kids to make this world a better place, even in a small way, and I want them to be happy. No matter what is going on right here and right now this is my ultimate goal. Not to raise compliant children but to raise healthy adults.

What do you want for your children?