Are you a people pleaser?

By Ayngel on Apr 28, 2009 | In Psychology, Self-Help | 1 feedback »

How often does a person stop to appreciate their carpet, their kitchen tile, their doormat? I’m afraid it isn’t very often at all. Things that are made to walk on are rarely a part of our everyday thoughts. A doormat, is and always be a doormat, and a doormat is meant to be taken for granted.

People on the other hand, are meant to be loved and appreciated, it is a basic human need. Yet so many people feel that being a human doormat is the true path to love and acceptance. Somewhere along the way, they got the idea that need and love are the same thing.

So often in our culture need and love are represented as being one and the same, a myth perpetuated by romance novels and love songs. Need and love are in fact two different things, we can love someone without necessarily needing them, and we can most certainly need someone without loving them.

Being a doormat might make someone need us, but do they really want us? Sure we are really handy to have around, we take on all the the stress, worry, and responsibility. They might even come to believe they can’t live without us, but at what price?

Being a doormat gets exhausting after awhile, always finding new ways to get your own needs met by meeting the needs of others or pushing them aside altogether. Instead of just simply asking someone to love us, we are always trying to find a way to earn that love.

Love was never meant to be earned, it was meant to be given as a gift with nothing expected in return. As soon as it becomes an exchange, the word love no longer applies. If they take their love away from you, even for a moment your whole world begins to crumble.

Nobody has to remain a doormat forever, there is hope for even the worst people pleasers in the world.

For tips on overcoming the dreaded doormat disease read on at Squidoo>>>

Ayngel Overson
AKA Boshemia
P.O. Box 134
Nucla, Co 81424

(970) 864-7557

I challenge you to use your own mind, if you don't then somebody else will.

Tags: becoming assertive, human doormat, people pleaser

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Comment from: TOM CORLEYQ [Visitor]

· http://RICHHABITS.NET

I definitely am a people pleaser. I stumbled into what I now refer to as my Rich Habits research in an effort to help a CPA client of mine. Rich Habits #5 is about building relationships/networking. What I discovered in my research is that about 95% of the population eeks out a living. There are many reasons for this but one reason is a fundamental one: most people (95%) are only concerned about themselves. They are users. In the relationship Rich Habits I teach how to identify the users and how to move away from them. In order to move into the top 5% of earners (if that is your motivation) you need to become like the other 5%. This group comprises high earners. One of the reasons they are high earners is that they understand the importance of relationship building. When they look at a relationship they ask themselves every day: "How can I help that person?". The other group, the 95%, in dealing with relationships are asking a question too. Their question is: "How can that person help me?" It is a whole different perspective in thinking.

05/16/09 @ 05:02

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